Video -Bette Davis-Dean Martin Celebrity Roast (1973) PART 2
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Written by Harry Crane, Stan Daniels, Tom Tenowich, Norm Liebmann, Larry Markes, Mike Barrie, Jim Mulholland
Dean voice Bette Davis
Guests:
Henry Fonda
Vincent Price
Barbara Heller
Army archer
Also Butterram
Kay Medford
Nipsey Russel
Joyce Haber is a columnist for the Los Angeles Times
Howard Cosel
Tom T. Halle
Jeannie C. Riley
*
Special music material by Lee Hale
Associate Producer Craig Martin
Sketch-Supervisor Jonathan Lucas
Kreativberater Buddy Arnold
Art Director Gene McAvoy
Musical director Les Brown
Musical arranger Van Alexander
Costumes designed by Bob Fletcher
Choirmaster Jack Halloran
Department head P. Dean Reed
Deputy Director James Kanrowe
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Music consultant Ken Lane
Musikkoordinator Mack Gray
Production Coordinator Roger Warnix
Assistants to producers Janice Buchanan and Lynne Voeth
Music Routines Geoffrey Clarkson
Make up Harry Blake
Stage managers Bob Chic & Doug Quick
Technical manager Karl Messerschmidt
Lighting director Lon Stucky
Audio Joe Ralston
Video Ed Huston
Videotape Editor Stan Jenkins & Gustavo Aguilera
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
*
Highlights:
Dean Martin singt „Non Dimenticar“.
Tom T. Hall singt „I Love“.
Jeannie C. Riley and Tom T. Hall duet on This Ole House.
Dean Martin: Tonight we honor one of Hollywood's favorite citizens, Miss Bette Davis. She won two Oscars and
was nominated nine times. From the very first day she arrived in Hollywood, she slept with Cary Grant, Robert Montgomery,
Henry Fonda and then she came into the picture. It was not easy for Jack Warner to take a liking to her and after several meetings
He sent Bette for her first test and the result was positive and they named the child Jack Jr. Bette suffered heartbreak
In 1938, David O. Selznick tested them for Gone With the Wind, but Mr. Selznick didn't think they were good enough and
gab Butterfly McQueen die Rolle.
Pat Buttram: Where else but in Hollywood will you find a sign that says "Last Massage Parlor before Freeway."
Joyce Haber: Bette was the queen of Hollywood back when queens were ladies and Joan Crawford was king.
Vincent Price: You know, Bette has always suffered in every picture she has ever taken. When I showed up with her
She gave up her beauty in Elizabeth and Essex, gave up her eyesight in Dark Victory and gave up her sight in Virgin Queen
(pauses and shrugs) She gave up her hobby.
Dean Martin: Oh, by the way, Bette, here's a telegram I forgot to read before it comes from the National Association of
tobacco manufacturer. Dear Miss Davis, We would like to thank you for encouraging the use of cigarettes in your films.
No other actor swings his butt like you do. [RF]
[07] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:BARRY GOLDWASSER
25. Oct. 1973 Show No
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Written by Harry Crane, Stan Daniels, Tom Tenowich, Norm Liebmann, Larry Markes, Mike Barrie, Jim Mulholland
Dean voice Barry Goldwater
Guests:
William Holden
William Konrad
Carroll O’Connor
And mountain ash
Steve Landesburg (as Bubba Lee Goldwater)
Nipsey Russel
Zsa Gabor Zsa
Norman Crosby
Don Reis
Mark Russell (political satirist and comedian)
Ray Stevens (not on the podium)
*
Special music material by Lee Hale
Associate Producer Craig Martin
Sketch-Supervisor Jonathan Lucas
Kreativberater Buddy Arnold
Art Director Gene McAvoy
Musical director Les Brown
Musical arranger Van Alexander
Costumes designed by Bob Fletcher
Choirmaster Jack Halloran
Department head P. Dean Reed
Deputy Director James Kanrowe
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Music consultant Ken Lane
Musikkoordinator Mack Gray
Production Coordinator Roger Warnix
Assistants to producers Janice Buchanan and Lynne Voeth
Music Routines Geoffrey Clarkson
Make up Harry Blake
Stage managers Bob Chic & Doug Quick
Technical manager Karl Messerschmidt
Lighting director Lon Stucky
Audio Joe Ralston
Video Ed Huston
Videotape Editor Stan Jenkins & Gustavo Aguilera
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
*
Highlights:
Dean Martin singt „Free to Carry On“.
Dean Martin and Ray Stevens duet with "Y'all Come", "Nashville", "Bumming Around" and "Things".
William Holden and Dean Martin as monks waiting for their vows of silence to be broken.
William Conrad: I'm here tonight to pay tribute to a colleague, Maj. Gen. Barry Goldwater, retired U.S. Air Force.
We both gained our pilot wings in Loopfield, Phoenix, Arizona. We both served in World War II and then Barry
Goldwater was on our side, but I knew even then that you would go far, Senator, you would go far in the service because you
studied humility with General MacArthur and took charms with General Patton. As a bomber pilot general
Goldwater single-handedly devastated eleven major cities and then went overseas.
William Holden: (about one of Barry Goldwater's speeches) "I will remove pornography from the streets of America and publish it
where it belongs." At home in his cave.
Zsa Zsa: I won't tell you what happened on our first date, but Barry, dear, how can they call you a conservative?[RF]
[08] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:JOHNNY CARSON
01.11.1973 Show-Nr
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Autor: Jim Mulholland, Larry Markes, Mike Barrie, Tom Tenowich, Norm Liebmann, Harry Crane, Stan Daniels
Dean the voice of Johnny Carson
Guests:
Bette Davis
Jack Benny
Georg Burns
Truman Capote
George Goebel
Doctor Severinsen
Cliff Robertson
Joey Bischof
Bob Neuhart
Barry Goldwater
Red Foxx
Jonathan Winters (als Willis Mumford)
Care Brooks
Martin Mueller
Kent McCord
Dionne Warwick
Rich little
Ruth Buzi
Dom DeLuise
Fred DeCordova
Marissa Moritz
Dean Martin: Johnny Carson is a comedian who can be seen in millions of bedrooms across America every night
As for why his last wife left him, she found that he performed better in those bedrooms than his own.
Johnny has certainly come a long way in this business, being born and raised on a farm just outside of Norfolk, Nebraska.
I know he's a real farm boy because I saw him with some pigs at the bar last night.
George Burns: (to Johnny Carson) I want you to know that I watch your show at 11:30 every night. I turn on the TV.
I'm lying in bed naked and you're very, very funny. I was late the other day watching you
with my clothes so you know you're funnier when I take my clothes off.
Doc Severinsen: Johnny Carson is the kindest, most generous man I've ever known, and if that wasn't enough, he probably is
greatest comedy genius since Charlie Chaplin (turns to Johnny Carson) Oh damn Johnny I can't read this stuff
you wrote for me
Bob Newhart: Some of you may not know that Johnny's first wife was named Joan, second wife was Joanne, current wife
is Joanna, the man - the man just doesn't get new towels.
Dean Martin: Next we have a brilliant author and a close friend of Johnny's, Mr. Truman Capote, you all remember
Truman's bestselling book In Cold Blood is the story of Johnny's second divorce settlement. [RF]
[09] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:WILT CHAMBERLAIN
08.11.1973 Show-Nr
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Written by Jim Mulholland, Larry Markes, Mike Barrie, Tom Tenowich, Norm Liebmann, Harry Crane, Stan Daniels
Dean the voice of Wilt Chamberlain
Guests:
Norman Crosby
Lucky Hairston
Audrey Wiesen
Ken Berry
Nipsey Russel
Bill Schuhmacher
Vernon Scott
Georg Kennedy
Jackie Gayle
Pat Henry
Ferlin Husky
"The Man of the Week"
Highlights:
Dean Martin singt „Young At Heart“.
Ferlin Husky and Dean Martin sing a medley of "Down by the Riverside", "Rosie Cries A Lot", "Houston" and "Ramblin' Rose".
Dean Martin: Wilt Chamberlain was born in 1936, he was actually tall at birth. He was so big that he was born
August 21, 22 and 23.
Norm Crosby: Wilt Chamberlain is an isolation for young people around the world. Wherever he appears in every game
the renegades give him standing ovulation. That's the truth. [RF]
[10] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:HUBERT HUMPHREY
22. November 1973 Show-Nr
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean the voice of Hubert Humphrey
Guests:
Gen Kelly
Leo Durocher
Audrey Wiesen
Mort Sahl
Ted Ritter
Markus Russel
Rich little
Don Reis III
Pat Henry
Nipsey Russel
Care Brooks
Senator Lowell Weicker (R-Conn.)
[11] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:CARROLL O'CONNOR(Archie Bunker "Everything in the Family")
07.12.1973 Show-Nr
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Written by Jim Mulholland, Larry Markes, Mike Barrie, Tom Tenowich, Norm Liebmann, Harry Crane, Stan Daniels, Bill Box
Dean voiced by Carroll O'Connor
Guests:
Dan Rowan and Dick Martin
Gen Kelly
Joey Bischof
Don Rickles
Robert Wood, President of CBS Television
Mike Connors
Red Foxx
Marty Allen
Mama Cass Elliott
Nipsey Russel
Norman Crosby
Care Brooks
Senator Barry Goldwater (R-Ariz)
im tapped Segment
Ruth Buzi
William Konrad
Zsa Gabor Zsa
William Holden
Donald O'Connor
Charles NelsonReilly
New York Mayor John Lindsay
*
Special music material by Lee Hale
Associate Producer Craig Martin
Sketch-Supervisor Jonathan Lucas
Kreativberater Buddy Arnold
Art Director Gene McAvoy
Musical director Les Brown
Musical arranger Van Alexander
Costumes designed by Bob Fletcher
Choirmaster Jack Halloran
Department head P. Dean Reed
Deputy Director Clay Daniel
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Music consultant Ken Lane
Musikkoordinator Mack Gray
Production Coordinator Roger Warnix
Assistants to producers Janice Buchanan and Lynne Voeth
Music Routines Geoffrey Clarkson
Make up Harry Blake
Stage manager Bob Chic
Technical manager Karl Messerschmidt
Lighting director Lon Stucky
Audio Joe Ralston
VideoJerry Smith
Videotape Editor Stan Jenkins & Gustavo Aguilera
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
*
Dean Martin: Who Said Carroll O'Connor Was Unpopular? When he moved to Beverly Hills all I know is that it's five color
families moved out.
Marty Allen: (as Joe Kowalski) You know, Mr. O'Connor was my foreman down at the shipyard and he got the job over the top
the rest of us because he had the best education, he had the most experience, and he knew where to get the boss a bride.
This Mr. O'Connor is a really tough boy, one night we walked into a saloon and got into a fight with a guy and
The guy smacks the back of his hand and says a punch from kung fu and Mr. O'Connor pulls something out of his
bag and hits the guy on the head and says, And that's a Midas Muffler crowbar.
William Holden: Hi Carroll, I just wanted to say how much I enjoy you on All in the Family, you know something
They're almost as good as they used to be with Art Carney and Audrey Meadows in The Honeymooners.
Foster Brooks: Thank you, Mr. Martini. [RF]
[12] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:MONTY-HALLE
December 13, 1973 Show no
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Written by Harry Crane, Stan Daniels, Tom Tenowich, Norm Liebmann, Larry Markes, Mike Barrie, Jim Mulholland, Bill Box
Dean the voice of Monty Hall
Guests:
Gen Kelly
Bert Parks
Audrey Wiesen
Rocky Graziano
Donald O'Connor
Art Linkletter
Jack Carter
Sen. Birch Bayh (D-Ind.)
Ted Ritter
Doug Dillard
Allan Drake
The gold diggers
*
Special music material by Lee Hale
Associate Producer Craig Martin
Sketch-Supervisor Jonathan Lucas
Kreativberater Buddy Arnold
Art Director Gene McAvoy
Musical director Les Brown
Musical arranger Van Alexander
Costumes designed by Bob Fletcher
Choirmaster Jack Halloran
Department head P. Dean Reed
Deputy Director Clay Daniel
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Music consultant Ken Lane
Musikkoordinator Mack Gray
Production Coordinator Roger Warnix
Assistants to producers Janice Buchanan and Lynne Voeth
Music Routines Geoffrey Clarkson
Make up Harry Blake
Stage managers Bob Chic & Doug Quick
Technical manager Karl Messerschmidt
Lighting director Lon Stucky
Audio Joe Ralston
VideoJerry Smith
Videotape Editor Stan Jenkins & Gustavo Aguilera
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
*
Highlights:
Dean Martin und Gene Kelly im Duett bei „You Are My Sunshine“.
Gene Kelly and the Golddiggers perform Count on Me.
Doug Dillard and the Golddiggers play "Banjo Man".
The Golddiggers perform "Open Up Your Heart".
Dean Martin: Well, tonight we honor Monty Hall. I'm not asking you to laugh or applaud during this roast, just
stay awake. I gave up a lot to be here tonight, I could have been home and watched Jacques Cousteau Paper Trains a Whale.
Many of you may be wondering why we honor Monty Hall, remember I asked first. I don't know much about Monty
but I do know he was born in Manitoba, Canada and is about as exciting as his hometown. Manitoba is so square, you
I can't buy a bra without a prescription. But Monty was destined to host quiz shows, even back in Manitoba, he had
Approach strange girls and say we make a deal.
Art Linkletter: If you calculate the Nielsen rating results, "Let's Make A Deal" appeals to almost every type of person
can think. For example, insomniacs like it, makes them fall asleep even in the afternoon, people with heart problems
Conditions love it because under no circumstances their doctors advise them to upset the roto redman, oh them
like it, they like it when someone else goes down the drain and the gay liberation group, they like it because that's how it is
Proves that being straight is no fun. Monty's wife likes it because she knows where he is for 30 minutes every day
In fact, there is only one group, a dissenting group of Bandini Fertilizer manufacturers, because
They perceive it as strictly unfair competition.
Jack Carter: (points to Dean) People are talking about the energy crisis, here's the man that's causing it all, he is
always gassed, usually always oiled and lit. [RF]
[13] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:JACK KLUGMAN&Tony Randall("
The odd couple")
20. Dec. 1973 Show-Nr
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean voice "The Odd Couple" Jack Klugman und Tony Randall
Guests:
Mike Connors
Gary Burghof
Ruth Buzi
Super sale
Jack Carter
Leonard Barr
Jackie Vernon
Loretta Lynn
Jockey Laffit Pincay
Highlights:
Dean Martin singt „Turn the World Around“ und „As Time Goes By“
Doug Kershaw plays Louisiana Man and Sweet Jole Bion. [RF]
[14] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:ZSA GABOR ZSA
10 January 1974 Show-No
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Written by Jim Mulholland, Larry Markes, Mike Barrie, Tom Tenowich, Norm Liebmann, Harry Crane, Stan Daniels
Dean the voice of Zsa Zsa Gabor
Guests:
Donald O'Connor
Charles NelsonReilly
Sue Cameron
Corbett Monika
Lonnie Shorr
Ruth Buzi
Buddy Hackett
Mel Tillis
Fargo Frau
*
Special music material by Lee Hale
Associate Producer Craig Martin
Sketch-Supervisor Jonathan Lucas
Kreativberater Buddy Arnold
Art Director Gene McAvoy
Musical director Les Brown
Musical arranger Van Alexander
Costumes designed by Bob Fletcher
Choirmaster Jack Halloran
Department head P. Dean Reed
Deputy Director Clay Daniel
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Music consultant Ken Lane
Musikkoordinator Mack Gray
Production Coordinator Roger Warnix
Assistants to producers Janice Buchanan and Lynne Voeth
Music Routines Geoffrey Clarkson
Make up Harry Blake
Stage managers Bob Chic & Doug Quick
Technical manager Karl Messerschmidt
Lighting director Lon Stucky
Audio Joe Ralston
VideoJerry Smith
Videotape Editor Stan Jenkins & Gustavo Aguilera
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
*
Highlights:
Dean Martin singt „The Small Exception of Me“.
Dean Martin, Buddy Hackett, Donald O'Connor and Charles Nelson Reilly perform "Along Came Jones".
A Wide World of Sports parody starring Dean Martin as a bullfighter and Buddy Hackett as a bull.
Dean Martin: Tonight we're roasting Zsa Zsa, the most famous of the Gabor sisters. You all know the Gabor sisters, the
Original gold digger. Poor Zsa Zsa, she never had a great childhood, she went from kindergarten to the marriage office.
She's been married so many times that she gets Uncle Ben as an advance. She has so many wedding rings on her hand
When I kissed it tonight I thought I was kissing a packet of lifesavers.
Donald O'Connor: I was once married to Zsa Zsa. To this day I remember every detail of that wedding ceremony.
The preacher said to Zsa Zsa: "Will you take this man?" And she said, "Yes, Dahling, for all he's worth."
Ruth Buzzi: Hello dears, I'm Gladys Gabor. I used to think it was Ormsby because my sister is always like that
called me, but then I looked up Ormsby in a Hungarian-English dictionary and found it meant "losing fish face".
Zsa Zsa is truly a woman of many talents and she takes a keen interest in everything that is going on. You may think she is
Indifferent to world affairs, what the hell, she's had affairs all over the world! [RF]
[15] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:LEO DUROCHER
17 January 1974 Show-No
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean voice Leo Durocher
Guests:
Gen Kelly
Maury Wills
Bobby Riggs
Dizzy Dean
Chuck Connors
Alex Karas
Jack Carter
Care Brooks
Gladys Knight and the Pips
Highlights:
Dean Martin singt „I’m Sitting on Top of the World“, „I Walk the Line“ und „Georgia Sunshine“.
Gladys Knight & the Pips perform "Midnight Train to Georgia". [RF]
[16] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:Truman Capote
24 January 1974 Show-No
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Written by Jim Mulholland, Larry Markes, Mike Barrie, Tom Tenowich, Norm Liebmann, Harry Crane, Stan Daniels, Bill Box
*
Special music material by Lee Hale
Associate Producer Craig Martin
Sketch-Supervisor Jonathan Lucas
Kreativberater Buddy Arnold
Art Director Gene McAvoy
Musical director Les Brown
Musical arranger Van Alexander
Costumes designed by Bob Fletcher
Choirmaster Jack Halloran
Department head P. Dean Reed
Deputy Director Clay Daniel
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Music consultant Ken Lane
Musikkoordinator Mack Gray
Production Coordinator Roger Warnix
Assistants to producers Janice Buchanan and Lynne Voeth
Music Routines Geoffrey Clarkson
Make up Harry Blake
Stage managers Bob Chic & Doug Quick
Technical manager Karl Messerschmidt
Lighting director Lon Stucky
Audio Joe Ralston
VideoJerry Smith
Videotape Editor Stan Jenkins & Gustavo Aguilera
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
*
Dean voiced Truman Capote
Guests:
Jean Simmons
Ted Ritter
Audrey Wiesen
Donald O'Connor
Rich little
Joseph Wambaugh
Rocky Graziano
Care Brooks
Anna Mofo
Johnny Russel
Highlights:
Anna Moffo performs a "West Side Story" medley.
Johnny Russell singt „Rednecks, White Socks and Blue Ribbon Beer“.
Rich Little: Truman Capote has said publicly that actors aren't all that smart, so maybe that's why
he has a deep-seated desire to be an actor himself, and I share that. I mean I think there are many
Roles that Truman could play here, for example, I think he would have made a very interesting Hamlet. (with Truman's voice)
To be or not to be... that has always been my question.
Dean Martin: Joseph Wambaugh is a Los Angeles cop who also writes bestsellers like The Blue Knight.
"The New Centurions" and "The Onion Field". He's so prolific, they just released all of his speeding tickets
issued. This is badge number 178, Detective Sergeant Joseph Wambaugh.
Ted Knight: You know, I've always been a huge admirer of Truman since he defeated Dewey. [RF]
[17] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:DON RICKLES
07.02.1974 Show Nr
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean voiced by Don Rickles
Guests:
Joey Bischof
Phyllis Diller
Lorne Greene
Rowan & Martin
Casey Kasem
Bob Neuhart
Carol Channing
Nipsey Russel
Cliff Robertson
Jack Klugmann
Pat Henry
Kirk Douglas
Rich little
Telly Savalas
Charlie Callas
Care Brooks
Eugene Cernan (Apollo XVII)
[18] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:RALPH NADER
14 February 1974 Show-No
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean the voice of Ralph Nader
Guests:
Jack Klugmann
James Brolin
Jane Withers
Steve Landesburg
Mort Sahl
Rich little
Ruth Buzi
Jackie Gayle
Care Brooks
Fargo Frau
The Statler brothers
Highlights:
Dean Martin singt "It's So Good".
Donna Fargo singt „It Do Feel Good“.
Die Statler Brothers spielen "Carry Me Back".
Ruth Buzzi and Dean Martin make a sketch showing the different ways a married couple communicates
mutual. [RF]
[19] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:JACK BENNY
21 February 1974 Show No
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Written by Harry Crane, Stan Daniels, Tom Tenowich, Norm Liebmann, Larry Markes, Mike Barrie, Jim Mulholland, Bill Box
Dean the voice of Jack Benny
Guests:
Jimmy Stewart
Joey Bischof
Florence Henderson
Georg Burns
Norman Crosby
Zubin Mehta
Pearl Bailey
Dick Martin
Markus Spitz
Wayne Newton
Rich little
Demon Wilson
Jack Carter
Care Brooks
Gary Burghoff (not in the roast)
*
Special music material by Lee Hale
Associate Producer Craig Martin
Sketch-Supervisor Jonathan Lucas
Kreativberater Buddy Arnold
Art Director Gene McAvoy
Musical director Les Brown
Musical arranger Van Alexander
Costumes designed by Bob Fletcher
Choirmaster Jack Halloran
Department head P. Dean Reed
Deputy Director James Kanrowe
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Music consultant Ken Lane
Musikkoordinator Mack Gray
Production Coordinator Roger Warnix
Assistants to producers Janice Buchanan and Lynne Voeth
Music Routines Geoffrey Clarkson
Make up Harry Blake
Stage managers Bob Chic & Doug Quick
Technical manager Karl Messerschmidt
Lighting director Lon Stucky
Audio Joe Ralston
Video Ed Huston
Videotape Editor Stan Jenkins & Gustavo Aguilera
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
*
man of the week
Dean: Honors like this honor people while they're still alive, forgive me for being a little late. He's too old for that
Champagne, the bubbles keep knocking him out. And being a comedian wasn't Jack's whole life, he loved the violin,
He always dreamed of being a soloist in a concert orchestra. Two years ago he was invited to Israel to perform with him
the Israel Philharmonic, when Moshe Dayan heard him play, he took off the eye patch and stuck it over his ear.
Jimmy Stewart: Never has a man given so little to so few.
Jack Carter: My god, it's nice to be heard for this marathon in the stutter. I've never seen anything, were all professionals
stutter and Mark Spitz spoke beautifully. [RF]
[20] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:REDD FOXX(I)
01.03.1974 Show-Nr
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean voice Redd Foxx (1. Roast) (2. Roast 26Nov76)
Guests:
Joey Bischof
Nipsey Russel
Care Brooks
Demon Wilson
Norman Crosby
Rich little
Jim Bailey
Jackie Gayle
John Barbur
Flat white
Highlights:
Dean Martin singt "It's the Talk of the Town".
[21] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:BOBBY RIGGS
March 08, 1974 Show no
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Written by Harry Crane, Stan Daniels, Tom Tenowich, Norm Liebmann, Larry Markes, Mike Barrie, Jim Mulholland, Bill Box
Dean roasts Bobby Riggs
Guests:
Vincent Price
Chuck Connors
Leo Durocher
Alex Karas
Wayne Newton
Lynn Anderson
Don Reis III
Jack Carter
Rosmarin Casals
*
Special music material by Lee Hale
Associate Producer Craig Martin
Sketch-Supervisor Jonathan Lucas
Kreativberater Buddy Arnold
Art Director Gene McAvoy
Musical director Les Brown
Musical arranger Van Alexander
Costumes designed by Bob Fletcher
Choirmaster Jack Halloran
Department head P. Dean Reed
Deputy Director James Kanrowe
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Music consultant Ken Lane
Musikkoordinator Mack Gray
Production Coordinator Roger Warnix
Assistants to producers Janice Buchanan and Lynne Voeth
Music Routines Geoffrey Clarkson
Make up Harry Blake
Stage managers Bob Chic & Doug Quick
Technical manager Karl Messerschmidt
Lighting director Lon Stucky
Audio Joe Ralston
Video Ed Huston
Videotape Editor Stan Jenkins & Gustavo Aguilera
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
*
Dean Martin: Once he actually played a tennis match in a dress. He lost the match but on the way home he
picked up three sailors.
Vincent Price: He asked me to help him write a love letter. I told him I'd like to, but what
We did that, I wrote a first draft, then Bobby took it and edited it slightly to give it his own personal touch.
This is the first draft I wrote and this is Bobby's revised version. I hope Bobby doesn't mind if I read a
few passages from it. In my version, I start by saying, "Oh sweet nymph of my thousand fantasies." Did you
Ever felt a volcano of passion in your soul erupting in a fiery torrent of desire that was impossible to tame?"
In Bobby's version, he slightly altered this passage to read, "Hey hot lips, are you kidding?"
Don Rice: Thanks, Dean just told you I went to high school with Bobby Riggs, tennis' Archie Bunker.
Jack Carter: I'm so glad you invited this mini munchkin over here, a recycled Mickey Rooney. I love tennis, I always do
thought mixed doubles meant wife swapping. Dean doesn't know much about tennis, we play a lot of golf and one day we were
on the golf course and we pass some bushes and we heard dear forty he thought it was an orgy. Yes, I saw him
Last night at a bar chatting up some old pros. Bobby Riggs is he handsome or what, look at him he's so sweetly built
that is adorable. He has the body of an Olympic champion, a Cathy Rigby. Look at that gnome we got over here
look at him with the glasses and that stringy hair and that stupid little body, he looks like myopic
I threw away Johnny Mop. But I shouldn't pick on Bobby, why should I pick on him because I hate his guts. I hate him,
He let me down, a Davis Cup champion, a singles Open champion, and he went to Houston and did an Astrodome
by himself. She showed him, didn't she, that Billie Jean King, on TV in front of forty million people, her
Knock down his pants. Luckily no one was looking at his wrinkled body. [RF]
[22] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:GEORGE WASHINGTON
March 15, 1974 Show no
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Written by Harry Crane, Stan Daniels, Tom Tenowich, Norm Liebmann, Larry Markes, Mike Barrie, Jim Mulholland, Bill Box
Dean roasts George Washington (portrayed by Jan Leighton)
Guests:
Audrey Meadows (als Martha Washington)
Dick Martin
Leonard Barr
Steve Lawrence (als Colonel Groucho Marx, Washingtons Adjutant)
Corbett Monika
Nipsey Russel
Euell Gibbons
Henny Jungmann
Jack Carter
Foster Brooks (George Washington's press secretary)
*
Special music material by Lee Hale
Associate Producer Craig Martin
Sketch-Supervisor Jonathan Lucas
Kreativberater Buddy Arnold
Art Director Gene McAvoy
Musical director Les Brown
Musical arranger Van Alexander
Costumes designed by Bob Fletcher
Choirmaster Jack Halloran
Department head P. Dean Reed
Deputy Director James Kanrowe
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Music consultant Ken Lane
Musikkoordinator Mack Gray
Production Coordinator Roger Warnix
Assistants to producers Janice Buchanan and Lynne Voeth
Music Routines Geoffrey Clarkson
Make up Harry Blake
Stage managers Bob Chic & Doug Quick
Technical manager Karl Messerschmidt
Lighting director Lon Stucky
Audio Joe Ralston
Video Ed Huston
Videotape Editor Stan Jenkins & Gustavo Aguilera
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
*
George Washington is the roastee in a whimsical salute to the first President. Audrey Meadows appears as his wife Martha,
Steve Lawrence as his Groucho Marx-esque aide and Foster Brooks as his publicist. Others sit on the
Panelists include Dick Martin, Euell Gibbons, Corbett Monica, Nipsey Russell, Henny Youngman, Jack Carter and Leonard Barr.
Dean sings "For the Good Times" and "Lay Some Happiness on Me". Les Brown conducts the orchestra.
A whimsical salute to George Washington.
Roasting the first President George's wife Martha (Audrey Meadows), his press secretary (Foster Brooks) and his
Adjutant (Steve Lawrence does a Groucho Marx impersonation).
Other guests are:
Euell Gibbons and Henny Youngman
Highlights:
Dean Martin singt „For the Good Times“ und „Lay Some Happiness on Me“
Dean Martin: George first met Martha at the Boston Tea Party, she was one of the bags they threw overboard. Not only
he was the first president, he was the first president to be fitted with wooden teeth. He never brushed his teeth
he polished them with Pledge.
Euell Gibbons: Thanks Dean, I feel right at home with all these comedians, they remind me of wild hickory nuts.
Dean, have you ever drunk a pine?
Henny Youngman: I was at the psychiatrist and I said, "Nobody talks to me," and he said, "Next." I went to
Doctors and I said, "Doctor, I have a ring in my ear, what should I do," he says, "don't walk on it." Doctor gave a man
Six months to live and couldn't pay the bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.
Jack Carter: It's a very patriotic night and Dean, you're a great American and a great patriot. The man even got
patriotic eyeballs, look at him, blue with red and white. He's a great American and you really should be up there
On Mount Rushmore, you should be on that mountainside with Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln. not even you
gotta chisel him, he's stoned right now. [RF]
[23] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:DAN ROWAN & DICK MARTIN
March 22, 1974 Show no
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Written by Harry Crane, Stan Daniels, Tom Tenowich, Norm Liebmann, Larry Markes, Mike Barrie, Jim Mulholland, Bill Box
Dean roasts Dan Rowan and Dick Martin
Guests:
Joey Bischof
Audrey Wiesen
Art Johnson
Richard Dawson
Nipsey Russel
Steve Lawrence
Bob Neuhart
Ruth Buzi
Care Brooks
Buck Owens
Jackie Gayle
Dorsey Burnett
*
Sketch-Supervisor Jonathan Lucas
Art Director Gene McAvoy
Music conductor Les Brown
Musical arranger Van Alexander
Costume design by Bob Fletcher
Choirmaster Jack Halloran
Department head P. Dean Reed
Deputy Director Clay Daniel
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Music consultant Ken Lane
Musikkoordinator Mack Gray
Production Coordinator Roger Warnix
Assistant Producers Janice Buchanan & Lynne Voeth
Music Routines Geoffrey Clarkson
Make up Harry Blake
Stage managers Bob Chic & Doug Quick
Technical manager Karl Messerschmidt
Lighting director Carl Pitsch
Audio Joe Ralston
VideoJerry Smith
Video recorder Stan Jenkins & Gustavo Aguilera
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
Highlights:
Dean Martin singt „By the Time I Get to Phoenix“.
Dorsey Burnette singt „I Let Another Good One Get Away“.
Dean Martin, Steve Lawrence und Buck Owens spielen „Weve Got a Lot in Common“.
Die Golddiggers spielen "Let Me Be There".
Dean Martin: You all remember when Richard Nixon was on Laugh-In and he said sock it to me, sock it to me and Senator
Irvine did. Career wise, they starred in The Maltese Bippy, which is the image that got MGM where it is
today in the hotel industry.
Nipsey Russell: So if we remember Abbott and Costello as Laurel, and Hardy will never die, we certainly can't forget Rowan
and Martin, but baby, we'll definitely try.[RF]
[24] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:HENRY "HANK" AARON
March 29, 1974 Show no
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Associate Producer Craig Martin
Written by Harry Crane, Stan Daniels, Tom Tenowich, Norm Liebmann, Larry Markes, Mike Barrie, Jim Mulholland, Bill Box
Dean voices Henry “Hank” Aaron
Guests:
Lou Rawls
Joey Bischof
Eddie Matthews, Manager der Atlanta Braves
Dizzy Dean
Care Brooks
Audrey Wiesen
Norman Crosby
Lynn Anderson
Nipsey Russel
Jackie Kahane
Jeannie Burnier
Special appearance by Rodney Allen Rippy
*
Sketch-Supervisor Jonathan Lucas
Art Director Gene McAvoy
Music conductor Les Brown
Musical arranger Van Alexander
Costume design by Bob Fletcher
Choirmaster Jack Halloran
Department head P. Dean Reed
Deputy Director Clay Daniel
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Music consultant Ken Lane
Musikkoordinator Mack Gray
Production Coordinator Roger Warnix
Assistant Producers Janice Buchanan & Lynne Voeth
Music Routines Geoffrey Clarkson
Make up Harry Blake
Stage managers Bob Chic & Doug Quick
Technical manager Karl Messerschmidt
Lighting director Carl Pitsch
Audio Joe Ralston
VideoJerry Smith
Video recorder Stan Jenkins & Gustavo Aguilera
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
Highlights:
Dean Martin singt „It Had to Be You“ und „That Old-Time Feeling“.
Lou Rawls singt „Cold, Cold Heart“.
Dean: Tonight we're honoring one of baseball's greats, Mr. Henry Aaron. Who could forget the end of baseball in 1973
season when Hank got on his knees and prayed he could score just one more time.
Joey Bishop: I know very little about baseball, I thought Vida Blue was a toilet colon cleanser.
Nipsey: If the baseball fan can't understand that you want some chocolate for their sweet tooth, they have to yell Oh Henry!
now and not just Babe Ruth.
Foster Brooks: It's wonderful to pay a paaay tribute to this wonderful superstar, Raquel Welch. love your
new hairstyle Raquel. (blinks and leans towards Dean) That's a wild tan she's got there. I think you may have toasted
her too long. [RF]
[25] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:JOE NAMATH(I)
05.04.1974 Show-Nr
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean Roasts Joe Namath (1st roast) (2nd roast January 19, 1979)
Guests:
Don Meredith
Web Eubank
Paul "Bear" Bryant
Dick Butkus
Jim Plunkett
David Jansen
Angie Dickinson
Erzbischof Fulton J. Sheen
Care Brooks
Charlie Callas
Joey Bischof
Rich little
Flat white
######### Dean Martin Promi-Roast ########
############## Season 2 1974-75 ##############
##############################################
2.01 [26] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:BOB HOPE
31. October 1974
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Show host and USO regular Bob Hope gets a roast this hour.
Guests:
Jack Benny
John Wayne
James Steward
Ginger Rogers
Howard Cosel
Phyllis Diller
Don Rickles
Flip Wilson
Charlie Callas
Rich little
Care Brooks
Milton Berle
Zsa Gabor Zsa
Governor Ronald Reagan
Reverend Billy Graham
General Omar Bradley
Astronaut Neil Armstrong
Secretary of State Henry Kissinger
President Gerald Ford
Dolore's hope
2.02 [27] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:TELLY SAVALAS("Kojak")
15.11.1974 / Show-Nr. 1002
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Written by Harry Crane, George Bloom, Tom Tenowich, Milt Rosen, Don Hinkley, Peter Gallay, Stan Burns and Mike Marmer.
Associate Producer Lee Hale
Kreativberater Buddy Arnold
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Production Manager Roger Warnix
Artistic Director Robert Fletcher
Technical manager Karl Messerschmidt
Assistant producers Lynne Voeth & Janice Buchanan
Lighting director Lon Stucky
Kendis Rochlen, coordinator of the man of the hour
Stage manager Bob Chic
Production worker Mack Gray
Make up Harry Blake
Audio Joe Ralston & Pete San Filipo
Video Bob Cadigan
Videotape Editor Brian Allen
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
*
Dean voiced by Telly Savalas
Guests:
Ernest Borgnine
Howard Cosel
Angie Dickinson
Phyllis Diller
Darren McGavin
Robert Stack
Peter Graves
Alex Karas
Georg Kennedy
Don Rickles
Richard Rundbaum
Shelley Winter
And mountain ash
Dick Martin
Rich little
Dom DeLuise
Casey Kasem dressed up as Columbo
Foster Brooks, who claims to be Telly's barber.
Dean Martin toasts Telly Savalas Appearing on the podium are Ernest Borgnine, Howard Cosell, Angie Dickinson,
Phyllis Diller, Alex Karras, George Kennedy, Darren McGavin, Robert Stack, Peter Graves, Don Rickles, Richard Roundtree,
Shelley Winters, Rich Little, Dom DeLuise and the comedy team of Dan Rowan & Dick Martin.
Also attending the roast are comedian Foster Brooks, who claims to be Telly's hairstylist, and Casey Kaseem has dressed up
als Colombo.
The original "Kojak" gets the star treatment.
Phyllis Diller: I'm here for a reason, I want to be your secretary. You see, every detective on TV has one
Girl Friday and I wanna do things for you, Telly, just for you. I don't want to work for Columbo, he would smoke anything
cigars. I couldn't work for Cannon because he's so fat, he'd want to wear my pantyhose and who wants to work
McCloud, at the end of the day he comes back to his office and kisses the horse. I would be perfect in police work
I have everything Angie Dickinson has, only mine takes longer to find.
Howard Cosell: (to Dean) I hear the Drinkers Hall of Fame just ejected your liver. Before I pay mine
Disrespect to Telly Savalas, I want to pay tribute to appearing on my Monday Night podium
Soccer compatriot Alex Karras, number 71 Dino, of course you didn't mention him, who has become a legendary figure
in the history of professional football. It is now documented that a fat man who is out of shape can be one of the greats.
Robert Stack: I know some people play detective shows, but I think Kojak had a very good impact on, you know, crime
sold so much in one city that the mafia fired seven judges.
They show a clip of Telly as Kojak eating lollipops, background music of Shirley Temple singing "On the Goodship Lollipop".[RF]
2.03 [28] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:LUCILLE BALL
I Love Lucy (1951-57)-Lucy Desi Comedy Lesson (1957-60)-Die Lucy-Show (1962-68)-Here's Lucy (1968-74)
07.02.1975
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Written by Harry Crane, George Bloom, Tom Tenowich, Milt Rosen, Don Hinkley, Peter Gallay, Stan Burns and Mike Marmer.
Associate Producer Lee Hale
Kreativberater Buddy Arnold
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Production Manager Roger Warnix
Artistic Director Robert Fletcher
Technical manager Karl Messerschmidt
Assistant producers Lynne Voeth & Janice Buchanan
Lighting director Lon Stucky
Kendis Rochlen, coordinator of the man of the hour
Stage manager Bob Chic
Production worker Mack Gray
Make up Harry Blake
Audio Joe Ralston & Pete San Filipo
Video Bob Cadigan
Videotape Editor Brian Allen
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
*
MGM GRAND HOTEL im Zimmer Ziegfeld
Roast for Lucille Ball
Guests
Jack Benny
Milton Berle
Care Brooks
Ruth Buzi
Phyllis Diller
Totie-Felder
Henry Fonda
Sturm Gordon
Bob Hope
Rich little
And mountain ash
Dick Martin
Gary Morton
Don Rickles
Ginger Rogers
Nipsey Russel
Vivian Vance
Phyllis Diller: Well I couldn't wait to get her because Lucy is my kind of girl. We're both cut from the same mold
Thing is, I'm moldier. Lucy had a career. Whenever Lucy took pictures at MGM, a big roll came out every time
say Louis B. Mayer would say that, "Let's get this handsome redhead." And they did, Van Johnson. When I first
I could have had big roles when I came to Hollywood, but I was allergic to silicone. My bra was so small that it had to be put on
at a jeweler. Of course I'm wearing a padded bra now, there's so much rubber in there, I threw it on last night
dresser and it bounced out the window. But Lucy has her problems too, now I happen to know she wants to color
Her hair is back to its original color, but she doesn't remember it. All my life I've tried to look like Lucy. me even
Use the same beauty cream that Lucy uses but nothing helps. You know that ugly skin on your elbows? My whole body looks
like that.
Dean Martin: It's always a pleasure to have Jack Benny with us, he almost didn't make it, the police broke into him
dressing room and caught him sniffing plums.
Jack Benny: I'm glad it's not always black tie, you know, but I'm glad this is black tie because
it adds dignity to the evening. And FYI, to iron a tuxedo, it costs no more than two dollars.
Of course I get a refund if I send the wire hanger back. Anyway, I enjoyed my trip to Las Vegas, luckily I walked
in Fred MacMurray and he got me a good seat on the bus. Sitting next to me was a beautiful 25 year old girl
a six month old baby. And every time she fed the baby, I just couldn't take my eyes off her. I want to borrow
this kid to siphon gasoline. He drank that bottle in ten seconds. (looks at Dean) Anyway, I have to say with
With all due respect to Lucy, I can see where all of her portrayals on TV might have upset some comedians and made them jealous,
but I personally don't care. I don't care if it's on fifty times a day. If she wants the public to come
I'm sick of her, that's her problem. (blows Lucy a kiss)
Lucy: (about Henry Fonda) I'm overwhelmed that Henry Fonda came here overnight. We're good friends, I'm glad
Let's say we took two pictures together and whenever Hank was around the set always came to life. I wish I could say that
the same goes for Hank.
Clips are shown of Lucy from her various TV shows with Dean singing "I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face".[RF]
2.04 [29] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:JACKIE GLEASON
27 February 1975 Show-No. 1004
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean the voice of Jackie Gleason
Guests:
Art Carney
Milton Berle
Care Brooks
Sid Caesar
Phyllis Diller
Frank Gorschin
Gen Kelly
Sheila MacRae
Audrey Wiesen
Nipsey Russel
Damage Thomas
Jane Kean
2.05 [30] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:SAMMY DAVIS, JR.
24. April 1975
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean voice Sammy Davis Jr.
Guests:
Milton Berle
Joey Bischof
Care Brooks
Wilt Chamberlain
Norman Crosby
Altovise Davis (Sammy's wife)
Phyllis Diller
Frank Gorschin
Jan Murray
Freddie Prinze
Don Rickles
Nipsey Russel
Dionne Warwick
2.06 [31] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:Michael Landon(I)
15. May 1975
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Michael Landon from "Little House on the Prairie" gets roasted this hour. (1st roast) (2nd roast 7 Dec 84)
Guests:
Amanda Blake
Ernest Borgnine
Sid Caesar
Phyllis Diller
Euell Gibbons
Lorne Greene
Guy Marken
Jan Murray
Don Rickles
Cliff Robertson
Victor Sen-Yung
Joey Bischof
Norman Crosby
######### Dean Martin Promi-Roast ########
############## Season 3 1975-76 ##############
##############################################
[--]DEAN MARTIN SPECIAL
06.09.1975 WNBC 52 min.
Dean Martin
Robert Mitchum
Angie Dickinson
Care Brooks
Ronald Reagan
Vincent Gardenia
Jack Cassidy
Guy Marken
Georgia Engel
Isabel Sandford
Sherman Hemsley
Nancy Reagan
3.01 [32] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:EVEL MESSER
10. November 1975
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean the voice of Evel Knievel
Guests:
Milton Berle
Ernest Borgnine
Care Brooks
dr Joyce brothers
Ruth Buzi
Charlie Callas
Glen Campbell
William Konrad
Jackie Cooper
Georgia Engel
Senator Barry Goldwater
Gab Kaplan
Audrey Wiesen
Don Rickles
Cliff Robertson
Nipsey Russel
Isabel Sandford
McLean Stevenson
3.02 [33] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:VALERIE HARPER("Rhoda")
20. November 1975 Show-Nr. 1103
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Written by Harry Crane, Don Hinkley, Peter Gallay, Milt Rosen, Bill Daley, Terry Hart, Chris Wienk, and Stan Burns
Mike Marmor
Mary Tyler Moore Show co-star and Rhoda star Valerie Harper is the woman of the moment.
Guests:
Nancy Walker
David Groh
Julia Kavner
Ed Asner
Shelley Winter
Milton Berle
Red buttons
Jack Carter
Phyllis Diller
Georgia Engel
Chad Everett
Jamie Farr (als Corporal Klinger)
Eva Gabor
Harald Gould
Rich little
Care Brooks
Nipsey Russel
Isabel Sandford
Jack Albertson
Dick Schaal (then husband of Valerie)
*
Associate Producer Lee Hale
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Deputy Director Jonathan Lucas
Production Manager Roger Warnix
Artistic Director Robert Fletcher
Assistants to producers Janice Buchanan and Lynne Voeth
Technical Director Parker Roe
Lighting director Vincenzo Cilurzo
Audio Pete San Filipo
Video Randy Blum & Daniel Lovil
Production worker Mack Gray
Make up Harry Blake
Video editor Art Schneider
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
*
Red Buttons: (to Dean) You took it pretty well. You won't believe this folks
Today at the Lion's Den Lounge, right here at my favorite hotel, the MGM Grand, Dean drank two fifths and a cocktail
Waitress. So why have dinner for Valerie Harper when some of the greatest women in the history of the world never have
got a dinner. Eve saying to Adam in the Garden of Eden, "What do you mean the children don't look like you? Never
got supper, got an apple, but never got supper. Golda Meir who once said to Moshe Dayan: “How come the Arabs have
the gas and we have the heartburn. Noah's wife Stephanie saying to Noah after it had rained for forty days
and Forty Nights, "Your Turn to Put the Papers on the Floor", Jack the Ripper's mother Rhoda, once Rhoda Ripper
said to Jack, "How come I never see you twice with the same girl?" Martha Washington, who said to her husband George:
"Sure I let you out of the house one night, people tell me you slept here, you slept there," Mrs. Evel Knievel once said
said to her husband, "Why do you always break?" Never need dinner
Jack Carter: It's wonderful to be here, it's a very patriotic night. Dean's bicentennial, just that
Tomorrow he's having his seventeen seventy-sixth drink. [RF]
[--]DEAN MARTIN SPECIAL
14. Dez. 1975 WNBC 52 min.
Dean Martin, Dionne Warwick, The Golddiggers, The Statler Brothers, Georgia Engel, Freddy Fender, Michael Learned
[--]DEAN MARTIN SPECIAL
January 13, 1976 WNBC 52 min.
Dean Martin, Foster Brooks, Vincent Gardenia, Jack Cassidy, Guy Marks, Peter Graves, Freddy Fender, Jessi Colter
3.03 [34] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:Mohammed Ali
February 19, 1976
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Written by Harry Crane, Bill Daley, Howard Albrecht, Sol Weinstein, Milt Rosen, Larry Markes, Terry Hart, Stan Burns
and Mike Marmer
The champ, the greatest fighter in boxing history, Muhammad Ali is getting roasted in this hour.
Guests:
Care Brooks
Red buttons
Ruth Buzi
Charlie Callas
Wilt Chamberlain
Howard Cosel
Billy Kristall
Georgia Engel
Rocky Graziano
Sherman Hemsley
Isabel Sandford
Gab Kaplan
Gen Kelly
Herbert Mohammed
Floyd Patterson
Freddie Prinze
Nipsey Russel
Orson Welles
Tony Orlando
*
Associate Producer Lee Hale
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Deputy Director Jonathan Lucas
Production Manager Roger Warnix
Artistic Director Robert Fletcher
Assistants to producers Janice Buchanan and Lynne Voeth
Technical Director Parker Roe
Lighting director Vincenzo Cilurzo
Audio Pete San Filipo
Video Randy Blum & Daniel Lovil
Production worker Mack Gray
Make up Harry Blake
Video editor Art Schneider
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
*
Freddie Prinze: I'm very proud to be here because I saw Muhammad Ali as a kid growing up in Spanish Harlem
on TV all the time, which is difficult when two guys are carrying it out the window.
Red Buttons: Why are they giving this man a roast when some of the greatest black men in the world have never had dinner?
That's right if they never had dinner. Sidney Poitier, who once said, "Guess who's not coming to dinner?" never did
got a dinner. George Foreman telling referee during Ali fight 'I think he's got a razor' Alton Maddox,
the black revolutionary war hero who said at the Battle of Bunker Hill, "Don't shoot until you see the white guys".
Never got dinner. Wilt Chamberlain's mother who said "kids don't look up to their parents anymore."
Judge Thurgood Marshall, who said on his nomination to the Supreme Court: "Here comes the judge". Aunt Jemima,
who once said, "These hotcakes sell like hotcakes". Never got dinner. Uncle Remus who once said to Uncle Ben:
"You honor your rice". Pearl Bailey, who said when she was invited to the White House: "I will sing and I will
dance but I don't make windows". Never got dinner. And certainly one of the greatest black people of all time,
Shirley Temple Black, never got dinner.[RF]
3.04 [35] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:DEAN MARTIN
February 27, 1976
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
The host and creator of this very show as well as the "Dean Martin Variety Hour" gets roasted himself in these two hours
Consequence.
Don Rickles takes on the role of the "RoastMaster".
Guests:
Muhammad Ali
Joey Bischof
Care Brooks
Ruth Buzi
Charlie Callas
Howard Cosel
Angie Dickinson
Georgia Engel
Senator Barry Goldwater
Bob Hope
Senator Hubert Humphrey
Gab Kaplan
Gen Kelly
Rich little
Paul Lynde
Dick Martin
Joe Namath
Tony Orlando
And mountain ash
Nipsey Russel
James Steward
John Wayne
Orson Welles
3.05 [36] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:DENNIS WEAVER("McCloud")
27.04.1976 / Show-Nr. 1105
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean voice Dennis Weaver
Guests:
Amanda Blake
Milburn Stone
William Konrad
Shelley Winter
Mike Connors
Steve Forrest
Milton Berle
Red buttons
Rich little
Ruth Buzi
Nipsey Russel
Zsa Gabor Zsa
Georgia Engel
Peter Graves
Care Brooks
3.06 [37] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:JOE GARAGIOLA
25. Mai 1976 / Show-Nr. 1107
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Autoren Harry Crane, Bill Daley, Howard Albrecht, Sol Weinstein, Milt Rosen, Larry Markes, Terry Hart, Stan Burns,
Mike Marmor
Dean roasts baseball player and announcer Joe Garagiola
Guests:
Shirley Jones
Luis Tiant
Willie Mays
Hank Aaron
Yogi Berra
Micky Mantel
Musical booth
Maury Wills
Charles O. Finley
Care Brooks
Norman Crosby
Jack Carter
Nipsy Russell
Red buttons
Orson Welles
Charlie Callas
Jackie Gayle
Pat Henry
*
Associate Producer Lee Hale
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Deputy Director Jonathan Lucas
Production Manager Roger Warnix
Artistic Director Robert Fletcher
Assistants to producers Janice Buchanan and Lynne Voeth
Technical Director Parker Roe
Lighting director Vincenzo Cilurzo
Audio Pete San Filipo
Video by Randy Blim & Daniel Lovil
Production worker Mack Gray
Make up Harry Blake
Video editor Art Schneider
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
*
Dean Martin: Joe Garagiola is a great player in every sense of the word. Joe is an inspiration to young athletes
across America. I've never seen this man with a drink, a cigarette, or a comb. You realize you're sitting up here
are probably the largest collection of bats in baseball history? Boy, they sure have swung a lot in their careers
Bats and I've seen some of the old bats they swing with. Joe's first year in the leagues was 1946 with the
St. Louis Cardinals, he didn't have it easy as a rookie. Joe didn't have a Willie Mays arm and Maury Wills legs,
all he had was the head of Telly Savalas. Joe was never a big fan of the bases, he got kicked out one season
61 times home, once at the stadium and 60 times from his wife. I just want to say that you are your host for that
The evening is like the next husband of Zsa Zsa Gabor. I know what to do but how can I make it take an hour.
*
Jack Carter: Oh, it's good to be here on this wonderful night of baseball. I know it's for baseball because when
When we got here, Dean was already bagged. I saw him in the lobby last night trying to play records on a cigarette machine
and he and Foster Brooks danced to it. There's my man Luis Tiant, that's a man, hello Luis, he's signing
Autographs at Finley, little did he know he had just signed for three years with no money. He has such a cute head, eh
can they be fun, look at this nice little round head. What size hat do you wear? C cup. I don't know why you made your choice
To be an eye catcher Joe you are such a sweet man I mean Yogi Berra I can understand he had to wear a mask. You know
why i love to watch you catch when you get behind the plate and squat you look like my mom when she walks.
Oh, are you kidding that my mom is 78, she swings better than you ever did. My mother even had a chest protector, my father.[RF]
######### Dean Martin Promi-Roast ########
############## Season 4 1976-77 ##############
##############################################
[--] DEAN MARTIN SPECIAL: RED HOT SKANDALS OF 1926
08.11.1976 WNBC 52 min.
Jonathan Winter
Dean Martin
Dom DeLuise
The gold diggers
Georgia Engel
Abe Vigoda
Hermine Baddeley
[--] THE FIRST 50 YEARS OF NBC
11/21/1976 WFRV 230 min.
David Brinkley
Jerry Lewis
Gen Kelly
John Chancellor
Milton Berle
Bob Hope
Johnny Carson
Dean Martin
Angie Dickinson
George C. Scott
Don Meredith
Freddie Prinze
Gregor Peck
Orson Welles
Jack Albertson
NBC celebrates its golden jubilee on radio and television. Half a century full of stars and shows is remembered.
Orson Welles is the narrator and there are fifteen presenters: Jack Albertson, Milton Berle, David Brinkley, Johnny Carson,
John Chancellor, Angie Dickinson, Joe Garagiola, Bob Hope, Gene Kelly, Jerry Lewis, Dean Martin, Don Meredith,
Gregory Peck, Freddie Prinze, and George C Scott.
4.01 [38] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:REDD FOXX(II)
26.11.1976 / Show-Nr. 1203
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean Roasts Redd Foxx (2nd Roast) (1st Roast 1Mar74)
Guests:
Demon Wilson
Milton Berle
Isabel Sandford
Isaak Hayes
La Wanda side
Jimmie Walker
Flat white
Liz Torres
Georg Kirby
Norman Crosby
Steve Allen
Joe Garagiola
Nipsey Russel
Don Rickles
Marty Allen
Abe Vigoda
4.02 [39] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:DANNY THOMAS
15. Dec. 1976 Show-Nr. 1204
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean voice Danny Thomas
Guests:
Lucille Ball
Milton Berle
Gen Kelly
Jimmie Walker
Red buttons
Harvey Kormann
Charo
Charlie Callas
Ruth Buzi
Nipsey Russel
Dena Dietrich
Howard Cosel
Jan Murray
Don knot
Orson Welles
4.03 [40] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:ANGIE DICKINSON("Policewoman")
08.02.1977 / Show Nr. 1208
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean voiced Angie Dickinson
Guests:
Jimmy Stewart
Eva Arden
Count Hollimann
Orson Welles
Joey Bischof
Julia Prowse
Jimmie Walker
Cindy Williams
Red buttons
Cathy Rigby
Jackie Mason
Scatman Crothers
La Wanda side
Ruth Buzi
Charlie Callas
Care Brooks
Rex reed
4.04 [41] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:OHNE KAPLAN
21 February 1977 / Show-No. 1205
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean voiced by Gabe Kaplan
Guests:
Nipsey Russel
Liz Torres
Billy Kristall
Red buttons
Charo
Jimmie Walker
Orson Welles
Howard Cosel
Johnny Bank
Ed Blaustein
Alice Ghostley
Joe Garagiola
Charlie Callas
Abe Vigoda
Georg Kirby
Milton Berle
4.05 [42] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:TED RITTER
02.03.1977 / Show-Nr. 1207
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean voice Ted Knight
Guests:
Ed Asner
Gavin MacLeod
Georgia Engel
Jimmy Stewart
Care Brooks
Red buttons
Jack Carter
Orson Welles
Jimmie Walker
Harvey Kormann
Jackie Wilson
La Wanda side
Paul Williams
Scatman Crothers
Kelly Monteith
Willy Tyler & Lester
Julie McWhirter
Dr. Renée Richards
[--] DEAN MARTIN SPECIAL: RED HOT SKANDALS OF 1926 (PART TWO)
04.04.1977 WNBC 52 min.
Host Dean Martin
Guests:
Jonathan Winter
Dom DeLuise
Georgia Engel
Abe Vigoda
Hermine Baddeley
4.06 [43] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:Peter Marshal
22. Mai 1977 / Show-Nr. 1206
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean voice Peter Marshall
Guests:
Joey Bischof
Rose-Marie
Red buttons
Zsa Gabor Zsa
Orson Welles
Rip Taylor
Vincent Price
Karen Valentine
Ed Blaustein
Care Brooks
Jimmie Walker
Jackie Gayle
Paul Lynde
Jack Carter
Wayland Flowers & Madam
######### Dean Martin Promi-Roast ########
############## Season 5 1977-78 ##############
##############################################
5.01 [44] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:AND HAGGERTY
02.11.1977 Show-Nr. 1302
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean voiced by Dan Haggerty
Guests:
Denver Pyle
William Konrad
Harry Morgan
Pat Harrington
Roger Mueller
Orson Welles
Abe Vigoda
Rich little
Ruth Buzi
Red buttons
Jimmie Walker
Charlie Callas
La Wanda side
Care Brooks
Marilyn Michaels
Jackie Gayle
Tom Dreesen
5.02 [45] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:FRANK SINATRA
07.02.1978 /Show-Nr. 1304
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Autoren Harry Crane, Bill Box, Larry Markes, Stan Dreben, Howard Albrecht, Sol Weinstein, Martin A. Ragaway,
Arthur Phillips, Mel Chase, Robert L. Mills, Stan Burns, David Axlerod
Dean the voice of Frank Sinatra
Guests:
Ronald Reagan
Gen Kelly
Don Rickles
Georg Burns
Red Foxx
James Steward
Flip Wilson
Telly Savalas
Jack Klugmann
La Wanda side
Red buttons
Milton Berle
Orson Welles
Rich little
Jonathan Winters ... Elwood Suggins
Dom DeLuise ..... Domenic Tendoroni
Ernest Borgnine ... Fatso
Charlie Callas... Carlo Cappocino
uncredited
Barbara Marx .... yourself
Ruth Buzzi ...... Mrs. Gladys Ormfby (uncredited)
Peter Falk ...... Lt. Columbo (uncredited)
Jilly Rizzo..... Herself (uncredited)
*
Associate Producer Lee Hale
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Deputy Director Janice Buchanan
Stage manager Jonathan Lucas
Production Manager Roger Warnix
Artistic Director Robert Fletcher
Assistant producers Lynne Voeth and Betty Taxin
Technical Director Parker Roe
Lighting director Vincenzo Cilurzo
Audio Pete San Filipo
Video Bob Cadigan
Production worker Mack Gray
Make up Harry Blake
Videoschnittmeister Mario Di Mambro
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
*
The comedy of insult dominates this two-hour tribute. Host Dean Martin tops the list of 20 celebrities including
Gene Kelly showing clips of Sinatra and himself singing and dancing in "Anchors Aweigh" (1945), "On the Town" (1949).
and Take Me Out to the Ball Game" (1949); Peter Falk doing a routine as Columbo; Ruth Buzzi appearing as her
"Laugh-In" character Gladys, the "president of the first Frank Sinatra fan club"; and Jonathan Winters as Elwood Suggins,
"The Bus Driver on Sinatra's Concert Tours." Also: stand-up spots by former California governor Ronald Reagan,
George Burns, James Stewart, Milton Berle, Redd Foxx, Flip Wilson, Dom DeLuise, Charlie Callas, Telly Savalas,
LaWanda Page, Orson Welles, Don Rickles, Red Buttons, Rich Little, Jack Klugman und Ernest Borgnine.
Dean Martin: I'm really lucky to be counted among Frank's friends, I'm pretty lucky every night when I go on mine
Kneel and pray, I pray that I can get up off my knees. Yes, Frank was a real bonafide, mate...he helped me when I first started
Singing in cafes and helping me with my recording and film career. Thank you Frank for your support, I swear
I'll wear it until the day I die. This man's success served as an inspiration to every American boy. Frank Sinatra
was born an unwanted child in Hoboken, New Jersey and is now wanted in five states. Especially in the state
New York, as you know, New York City had financial problems, no one knew Frank loaned money to New York
until they found the statue of liberty with broken arms.
Ronald Reagan: I am pleased to be here tonight honoring my very dear friend Frank Sinatra. I have to say when this
program was planned, the producer had not decided which political figures would participate, it was a choice between
Me and Governor Brown and I lost again. But seriously, this is Frank Sinatra's night, and I'm here out of gratitude.
Frank worked for me on all my campaigns, accompanying me all the way to the governor's mansion without his help
know I might have been president. [RF]
5.03 [46] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:JACK KLUGMAN("Quincy, M.E.")
March 17, 1978 / Show #1307
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Written by Harry Crane, Larry Markes, John Shea, Ed Hider, Paul Pumpian, Martin A. Ragaway, Arthur Phillips, Mel Chase,
Robert L. Mills, Jay Burton, Stan Burns, David Axlerod.
Associate Producer Lee Hale
Dean voiced by Jack Klugman
Guests:
Connie Stevens
Toni Randall
Dick Martin
La Wanda side
Don Rickles
Joey Bischof
Katherine Helmond
Robert Guillaume
Milton Berle
Abbot Lane
Phyllis Diller
Red buttons
Care Brooks
dr Joyce brothers
Ruth Buzi
Kay Medford
*
Kreativberater Buddy Arnold
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Production Manager Roger Warnix
Deputy Director Janice Buchanan
Artistic Director Robert Fletcher
Technical Director Parker Roe
Assistant to producer Lynne Voeth
Lighting director Vincenzo Cilurzo
Kendis Rochlen, coordinator of the man of the hour
Stage manager Jonathan Lucas
Production worker Mack Gray
Make up Harry Blake
Hairdresser Mari Loshin
Audio Pete San Filipo
Video Bob Cadigan
Video Editor Mario De Mambro
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
*
Dean Martin: Our guest of honor was born in the city of Philadelphia. Now it ain't easy growing up in Philadelphia,
Crime is so bad there that your wife can legally have you pronounced dead if you aren't home by nine o'clock. He is still
a degenerate gambler, when we were both eating a hot dog at the track the other day, he said to me, "I bet I'll beat you
by half a length". He picked seven horses for me that day and they all lost. I ended up picking a winner in the eighth,
but my horse was disqualified for having a battery under the saddle. I personally believe in the jockey's story, he said
The horse was hard of hearing.
Red Buttons: Ladies and gentlemen, the question tonight is why are we giving this guy dinner? A man who has it all
he wants to be cremated and the ashes thrown in Tony Randall's face. Why then do I repeat, to repeat, we are
Give that card-carrying slob dinner. When some of the greatest people in world history never had dinner.
Adam saying to Eve in the Garden of Eden, "Of all the people I know, I like you best," said Dracula when they did
drove a stake through his heart, "I spell relief R-O-L-A-I-D-S", never got dinner. The referee who said to Leon Spinks
in the ALi "No Rubber in the Clinch" fight, never got a dinner. Ex-Congressman Hayes, who said: "If I'm elected
I'll hire a typist again", Wilhelm von Orange, who said on his wedding night: "I call that a navel!"
Medusa who, upon seeing the snakes growing out of her head, said, "Look Ma, Phyllis Diller!" Never got dinner.
Alex Haley, the author of "Roots," who traced his family back to the end of the bus, never got dinner.
Maury Xerox, the inventor of the Xerox machine, who said to his wife Zelda, "Zelda Xerox, it's easy if you want a different one
Baby make a copy of Irving.” Never had dinner. Anwar Sadat who said to Menachem Begin in Cairo: “No, that is not
Camel, this is Dolly Parton lying on her back.” Never got dinner. [RF]
5.04 [47] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:JIMMY STEWART
May 10, 1978 / Exhibition #1306
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Written by Harry Crane, Larry Markes, John Shea, Howard Albrecht, Sol Weinstein, Martin A. Ragaway, Arthur Phillips,
Mel Chase, Robert L. Mills, Jay Burton, Stan Burns, David Axlerod
Associate Producer Lee Hale
Kreativberater Buddy Arnold
Production Manager Janet Tighe
Production Manager Roger Warnix
Deputy Director Janice Buchanan
Artistic Director Robert Fletcher
Technical Director Parker Roe
Assistant to producer Lynne Voeth
Lighting director Vincenzo Cilurzo
Kendis Rochlen, coordinator of the man of the hour
Stage manager Jonathan Lucas
Production worker Mack Gray
Make up Harry Blake
Hairdresser Mari Loshin
Audio Pete San Filipo
Video Bob Cadigan
Video Editor Mario De Mambro
Talentkoordinator Henry Frankel
*
Dean the voice of Jimmy Stewart
Guests:
Lucille Ball
Juni Allyson
Greer Garson
Red buttons
Senator Barry Goldwater
La Wanda side
Henry Fonda
Eddie Albert
Care Brooks
Georg Burns
Toni Randall
Don Rickles
Rich little
Janet Leigh
Milton Berle
jess white
Orson Welles
Micky Rooney
Ruth Buzi
Dean Martin: What a career this man had. In this golden year handsome main actor he starred in pictures for the first time.
Jimmy there are few of your kind left just you, Xavier Cugat, Lawrence Welk... He's shy, back in Honolulu last week,
he was having lunch with Dolly Parton. When the waitress said "What would you like in your coffee?" He did not say anything".
He was too shy to say two lumps. I don't know a nicer guy than him. He's the only person I know who would interrupt me
an orgy to ask if anyone would like coffee or cake. Last night I took Jimmy to see "Hallejuah Hollywood" here at the MGM Hotel,
A dancer came out topless, Jimmy ran onto the stage and tried to cover her with his hat, luckily he has one
small head. He has a room next to mine at the hotel here and I know that whenever he's in a romantic mood I can have his here
Mrs. Gloria snores. He's such a poor soul, every night his wife makes him take out the trash and he lives in a hotel!
There's a statue of Jimmy in the Wax Museum, and the statue speaks better than him.
Milton Berle: Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we honor Jimmy Stewart, a man who gave new meaning to the word
Valium. That's it. Smile Jimmy, you look like a basset hound who forgot where he buried his bone. We honor this man
This menopause darling has been a giant in Hollywood for forty years.[RF]
5.05 [48] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:GEORGE BURNS
May 17, 1978 / Exhibition #1305
produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean voice George Burns
Guests:
Gen Kelly
Connie Stevens
James Steward
Milton Berle
Jack Carter
Phyllis Diller
Ernest Borgnine
Joey Bischof
Norman Crosby
Euell Gibbons
Guy Marken
Jan Murray
Cliff Robertson
Lorne Greene
Sid Caesar
Amanda Blake
Victor Sen-Yung
Don Rickles
La Wanda side
Abe Vigoda
Dom DeLuise
Ronald Reagan
Orson Welles
Charlie Callas
Ruth Buzi
5.06 [49] Dean Martin celebrity roast:BETTY WEISS
May 31, 1978 / exhibition number 1301
produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean voiced Betty White
Guests:
Peter Marshal
Allen Ludden
Jimmie Walker
Bonnie Franklin
Orson Welles
Red buttons
Charlie Callas
La Wanda side
Care Brooks
Phyllis Diller
Rich little
John Hillermann
Georgia Engel
And Haggarty
Milton Berle
Abe Vigoda
######### Dean Martin Promi-Roast ########
############## Season 6 1978-79 ##############
##############################################
6.01 [50] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:Susanne Somers
November 21, 1978 / exhibition number 1403
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean voice Suzanne Somers
Guests:
Milton Berle
Lorne Greene
dr Joyce brothers
Audra Lindley
faithful norman
Orson Welles
Norman Crosby
Lee Meriwether
Charlie Callas
Bernie Kopell
Red buttons
La Wanda side
Paul Anka
Ruth Buzi
Tom Bosley
Rich little
Jackie Gayle
Alan Hamill
Zsa Gabor Zsa
6.02 [51] Dean Martin Celebrity Roast:JOE NAMATH(II)
Exhibition of January 19, 1979 / No. 1402
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean roasts Joe Namath (2nd roast) (1st roast 5 Apr 74)
Guests:
Joey Bischof
Carry Bryant
Flat white
Dick Butkus
Corbett Monika
Angie Dickinson
Audrey Wiesen
Charlie Callas
David Jansen
Nipsey Russel
Jim Plunkett
Don Meredith
Rich little
Bischof Fulton J. Sheen
Jack Carter
Web Eubank
Care Brooks
Mel Tillis
Bernie Kopell
David Doyle and George Blanda.
[--] Dean Martin Promi-Roast
THE BEST OF DEAN
11. May 1979 WNBC 104 min.
Guests:
Gen Kelly
Bob Neuhart
Don Rickles
Orson Welles
Jimmy Stewart
Unforgettable moments from Dean Martin's (1965-1974) star-studded TV shows, starring Jimmy Stewart, Gene Kelly,
Don Rickles, Orson Welles and Bob Newhart. [RF]
[--] DEAN MARTIN SPECIAL
13. Dez. 1979 WNBC 52 min.
Shirley Jones, Dean Martin, Dom DeLuise, Die Goldgräber, Ruth Buzzi
Host Dean Martin sings and clowns with Shirley Jones, Dom DeLuise, Ruth Buzzi and The Golddiggers in various sequences
recorded at locations in San Diego. [RF]
######### Dean Martin Promi-Roast ########
################ Season 7 1984 ##############
################(final season)##############
7.01 [52] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:JOAN COLLINS("
Dynasty")
24 February 1984 Show No
Produced by Lee Hale
Written by Harry Crane, Howard Albrecht, Stan Burns, Tom Finnigan, Bill Box, Jay Burton, Sol Weinstein, Tom Perew,
Greg Fields, Dennis Snee.
Directed by Greg Garrison
Dean voice Joan Collins
Guests:
John Forsythe
Aaron spelling
Gavin MacLeod
Beatrice Arthur
Red buttons
Phyllis Diller
Angie Dickinson
Charlie Callas
Rich little
Anne Baxter
Don Rickles
Zsa Gabor Zsa
Dom DeLuise
Milton Berle
*
Associate Producer Janet Tighe
Production manager Bill de Angelis
Artistic Director Charles Tomlinson
Deputy Director Jonathan Lucas
Assistant to the producer Peggy Maxwell
Lighting Director Don Nelson
Audio Pete San Filipo
Make up Harry Blake
Production manager Joel Hornstock
Videoband-Editor Jesse Hoke
*
Gavin MacLeod: Looking around, I think almost everyone on that podium was a passenger on The Love Boat
Of course Joan has sailed with us many times. Well you wouldn't believe how popular she is all over the world, in Trinidad
She was treated like a star, in Acapulco she was treated like royalty and in the Virgin Islands she was treated like
a total stranger. And Dom DeLuise was scheduled for a cruise just last month, which he sadly had to cancel
A tragic development in his love life, his inflatable wife ran away with his spare tire. And the wonderful red buttons
NEVER sailed with us but his wife told me that Red is like a cruise ship, he's old, he's slow and he just falls off
anchor once a year. But when Joan sailed with us it was an experience the crew and I will never forget. The first
One afternoon at sea, when we found out how sexy Joan Collins is, she accidentally fell overboard and the sharks swam in
to her with a bottle of champagne and a Sinatra record. And after we got back to port, she really was something
She queued and went through customs, where she was strip searched, and then stood in line again six times.
Phyllis Diller: She had fifteen husbands, four of them her own.
Red Buttons: Paul Revere, who wore nothing but a raincoat and said, "I'll show one by land, two by sea."
Never got dinner. Clint Eastwood's sex therapist who told Clint, "Do it any way you can, but with no sudden repercussions".
Alexander Graham Bell's wife who said to Alexander on their wedding night "I'm sorry your three minutes are up".
dr Spock saying "Never raise your hands to your children, it leaves your groin exposed". Never got dinner. [RF]
7.02 [53] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:MR. BILLION("The A-Team")
March 14, 1984 Show no
Produced by Lee Hale
Written by Harry Crane, Tom Finnigan, Howard Albrecht, Sol Weinstein, Stan Burns, David Axelrod, Bill Box, Jay Burton
Directed by Greg Garrison
Dean the voice of Mr. T
Guests:
Bob Hope
George Peppard
Gary Colemann
Ann Jillian
Red buttons
Rich little
Ricky Schroeder
Gavin MacLeod
Flat white
Dick Shawn
Howard Cosel
Maureen Murphy
Don Rickles
Nell Carter
*
Associate Producer Janet Tighe
Production manager Bill de Angelis
Artistic Director Charles Tomlinson
Deputy Director Jonathan Lucas
Assisting producers Peggy Maxwell & Lynne Voeth
Lighting director Bruce Nielsen
Audio Pete San Filipo
Technical Director Clay Jacobsen
Make up Harry Blake
Production manager Joel Hornstock
Videoband-Editor Jesse Hoke
*
Dean Martin: He's a master of karate, but why does he have to wear his black belt on his head? (He doesn't get up, does he?)
He was born and raised in Chicago, his mother had eleven children, he was four of them. You think Mr. T is tough
his brother ran away once and married a tractor. He firmly believes in a clean life, he doesn't smoke, he doesn't do it
drinks and he doesn't celebrate. No wonder he's so mean!
Red Buttons: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm on the B-Team, I'm here tonight to ask a question and a question alone.
Why, why are we giving this man dinner? When some of the greatest people in world history never had dinner.
Adam, Adam, who said to Eve in the garden of Eden, what do you mean you have nothing to wear? Never got dinner.
Noah, who said to his travel agent, "How come it never rains on Love Boat?" and he never got a dinner. Saint Christopher
who said, "Where can I buy a Frank Sinatra medal?" Sitting Bull, who said to General Custer, "That's not my real name,
but who listens to an Indian chief named Irving?” Elizabeth Taylor, who said to Joan Rivers, “First we will
eat, then we'll talk.” The doctor who delivered Mr. T.: “He hit me!” Never, never, never had dinner! Michaelangelo's
Girlfriend who said to Angelo: "Forget the paint, let's hang a mirror on the ceiling." And Dick Clark's wife who said
on their honeymoon: "That's your third blunder tonight!" Never got dinner.
Bob Hope: Thanks Dean, I'm so glad to be here, it's so exciting to get such an enthusiastic introduction from a host
with a glow on. I'm so happy to be here, when Mr. T invited me to be a guest on his roast I couldn't refuse,
That's because he's one of NBC's hottest new stars, he's a great guy and I prefer knees that bend in one direction.
No, he's hot, all the talk shows want him, Merv wants him to talk to him, Letterman wants him to talk to him, and
Johnny Carson wants him to talk to Joanna. Mr. T did our show in Hawaii and I found out we have quite a lot of things
Together we agree on almost everything, except for hairdressers. And what a greeting when we landed in Honolulu, you
put a lei around Mr. T's neck and he ate it. He also got a lot of money from us for doing this show, because he owns it
Faust is as tall as my agent.
Slappy White: I know Mr. T from Chicago and in his neighborhood the Avon lady was ringing and running. But it's safe to go
Through his neighborhood at night when you've got a bullet. [RF]
7.03 [54] Dean Martin Promi-Roast:Michael Landon(II) ("Little House on the Prairie")
07.12.1984 Show-Nr
Produced and directed by Greg Garrison
Dean roasts Michael Landon (2nd roast) (1st roast May 15, 1975)
Guests:
Melissa Gilbert
Vic Tayback
Maureen Murphy
Rich little
Pat Harrington
Dick Butkus
Bubba Smith
Dick Shawn
Merlin Olsen
Lorne Greene
Norman Crosby
Orson Welles
Brian Keith
Don Rickles
Flat white
######### Dean Martin Promi-Roast ########
################## the end #################
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